WHY DAUGHTERS ARE A BLESSING

“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward” (Psalm 127:3).

Daughters are a true blessing from God.

I should know. I have FOUR of them!

What makes daughters so special, though, is their unique ability to soften a man’s heart and draw out his emotional vulnerability. Daughters can transform even the toughest man into a teddy bear if he’s willing to let his guard down and tap into his emotions.

However, far too many men fail to recognize what an honor and privilege raising a daughter truly is. Granted, raising daughters is not easy for many reasons, but the impact they can make on a father’s heart is immeasurable if we seek to understand them as uniquely precious in God’s eyes.

As fathers, we have the honor and privilege of protecting our daughters from birth till the day we walk them down the aisle and give them away in marriage. But whether you look forward to that day or dread its inevitable conclusion like I do, one question remains.

Do you recognize the gift you’ve been given?

As a man, being a “girl dad” is all about embracing discomfort right out of the box because very few men are well versed in the art of playing with Barbie dolls, having a tea party, or knowing how to style a French braid.

Little girls love to dress up like princesses and accessorize their gown ensemble with jewelry, gloves, crown/tiara, pocketbook, feather boa, and plastic high heels, leaving most dads clueless, uncomfortable and scratching their heads on how they can relate.

What’s interesting is that despite our lack of knowledge and ineptness when it comes to familiarity with all things “female,” little girls have a way of welcoming us into their world with a kiss on the cheek, a big bear hug, and a simple, “I love you, Daddy!” In that moment, all insecurity and awkwardness fades away and we find ourselves tapping into emotions we’ve suppressed, for whatever reason, throughout our lives.

“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!” (Psalm 127:3–5a).

The biggest challenge with raising girls is overcoming our fear of relatability. In other words, because we’re male and our daughters are female, we focus more on what we don’t have in common as a means of justifying why we don’t spend as much time with them as we should. In turn, we create psychological barriers to protect ourselves from accepting, embracing and overcoming discomfort, awkwardness and vulnerability.

Now let me be clear: This is NOT an indictment of ALL men. Some men struggle very little relating to their daughters which is fantastic and worth celebrating. But more often than not, we create psychological barriers to protect ourselves from taking risks and allowing our daughters to touch our hearts and teach us something about God we desperately need to know this side of heaven.

EXAMPLE #1:

“At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea” (Matthew 18:1–6).

In typical, male fashion, Jesus’ disciples found themselves arguing over who (among them) was greatest in the kingdom of heaven. One can imagine these guys were getting pretty chesty with each other, probably trash-talking, and finally decided to make a friendly wager and ask Jesus. However, Jesus took the opportunity to teach them a lesson, using the fragility of a child to illustrate His point and convict their hearts.

To be clear, the Bible does not specify if the child was a boy or girl, but I believe Jesus called a little girl to Him for an even greater purpose. In that day, women held little to no self-worth and were devalued as nothing more than personal property. Obviously, Jesus recognized this.

Therefore, in my opinion, Jesus likely chose a little girl to not only illustrate a point regarding the importance of trust and vulnerability to His disciples, but foreshadow an even greater blessing in the future when He completed His mission of salvation and rose from the grave.

EXAMPLE #2:

JESUS APPEARS TO MARY MAGDALENE - “But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept she stooped to look into the tomb. And she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head and one at the feet. They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.”

Having said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?” Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.” Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned and said to him in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means Teacher).

Jesus said to her, “Do not cling to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to my brothers and say to them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’” Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord”—and that he had said these things to her” (John 20:11–18).

At arguably the greatest moment in human history, Jesus chose to reveal Himself, fully resurrected, to a woman! Not a man, not one of His disciples, not a Roman guard or even His enemies who condemned Him. Rather, Jesus chose Mary, a precious daughter of God whom He’d rescued from the depths of depravity, and bestowed on her arguably the greatest blessing a human could ever experience.

In that fateful moment outside the empty tomb, God chose to bless one of His daughters before blessing one of His sons, knowing full well the significance of His choice and what that would mean for generations to come, just as He did roughly 33-years prior when He chose a young, virgin girl also named, Mary, to bring His sovereign plan of salvation to fruition with the birth of Jesus.

“In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin’s name was Mary. And he came to her and said, ‘Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!’ But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be.

And the angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end’” (Luke 1:26–33).

APPLICATION:

What I’ve learned raising four daughters is that even though times change and girls become infinitely more complicated (emotionally, psychologically, physically, and YES, financially!), their love for us as protectors and providers never wanes. It only grows more important.

Daughters crave affirmation and approval from mothers, but they NEED love and protection from their fathers. Therefore, as I stated in my recent blog posts, WHAT WOMEN NEED MOST and HOW MEN SHOULD TREAT WOMEN, it is imperative we seriously consider our protective role as spiritual leaders by prayerfully instructing them in their knowledge and application of God’s Word.

Make no mistake, the enemy is determined to attack their psyche by sowing seeds of comparison while devaluing their morals and tempting them to sacrifice their purity. However, in His sovereignty, God chose us to guide, admonish and protect them from the enemy by consistently reminding them of their identity in Christ in order to affirm their infinite, eternal value in His eyes.

“Train up a child in the way she should go; even when she is old she will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). [emphasis mine]

From the very beginning, through adolescence and teen years till the day they leave the protection of our care, our sole responsibility is to love and protect our daughters “till death do us part.” Granted, that vow is typically marriage-related. But the day we commit to forsake all others and raise a family, our vow to love, honor, cherish and serve our wives extends wholeheartedly to our children, and especially our daughters.

“But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” ( 1 Timothy 5:8).

Keep in mind, provision encompasses far more than financial security. Therefore, we must unconditionally determine to avoid being absent fathers—emotionally, physically or spiritually, for even a physically-present father can check out easily. Therefore, we cannot allow ourselves to disengage our families mentally, avoid them emotionally, or delegate our leadership role spiritually when it’s time to “man up.”

Far too many mothers today are shouldering the burden of lazy, clueless and indifferent fathers, and that pattern must stop with us for the sake of future generations. Our wives deserve humble, servant-leaders, our children deserve Godly role models, and God ultimately deserves the praise He is due for bestowing on us with the honor and privilege of shepherding His daughters, especially, to be Godly, young women.

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).

“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!” (Psalm 127:3–5).

BOTTOM-LINE:

Both sons and daughters are infinite blessings from God, but there is just something unique about a daughter which cannot be explained. Their sweet innocence is a much-needed breath of fresh air for the majority of us who have been taught by culture that showing emotions is a sign of weakness.

Therefore, I can assure you when my daughters walk down the aisle on their wedding days, I will cry because words cannot express how much my daughters mean to me. Honestly, it’s difficult to write this blog post and not get emotional. However, if I’ve done my job right as a father, my daughters will already know I’ll be crying because my love for them throughout their lives has been proven by my words and actions.

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